For the past few weeks I've been trying to articulate why I've been anxiously waiting to turn the page on my Paper Source wall calendar to the month of October. To put it simply, there's just something about October and I've been anticipating her arrival for months. Summer is my least favorite season and typically by August (or even July, let's be honest), I'm so over the heat and ready for the cooler temperatures to set in. Yet I realize that without summer, the entrance of fall wouldn't feel as rich or grand.
Isn't that true about life sometimes? The good times and seasons of plenty and blessing could pass unknowingly had we not gone through the fire or seasons of lack to reach them. I'm not implying that good times have to be earned, but instead, I believe God designed our lives to operate in seasons.
Right before my 24th birthday I experienced a breakthrough of sorts and finally felt like myself for the first time since my move to Texas the year before. I often affectionately refer to my 22nd and 23rd year of life as the year of death part one and two - not dramatic at all, right? I've found it common for people trying to navigate life in their early 20's to experience some sort of dying to self as they embrace adulthood and start owning their life choices and planning for the future.
Needless to say, after a few years of watching dreams, expectations and relationships wilt and in some cases, wither all together, I was ready for something new. One night after a prayer meeting with some friends I came home and thought to myself I'm going to wake up a new person tomorrow. And I did. I finally confronted the disappointment deep inside, making space for something new to come to life. The seasons of death and hardship had prepared the way for new life.
I've been anticipating a shift for the past several weeks now, as if I'm waiting for the dam to finally break open and spill over. I don't know what you believe about God or the Holy Spirit, but I think there's a voice to our spirits, whispering that change is coming if we'll only learn to embrace it. October represents that change to me. And I feel hopeful for the first time in a while - a gift not to be taken for granted, but deeply appreciated.
No matter what sort of season you're in, ask yourself what you can anticipate today. Living without hope can be a dark and lonely place to be. Believe with me during this month of October that hope is rising and new life is spring forth if we'll only lean in a little while longer. Each morning this month I've decided to ask what I can anticipate and hope for. I plan to write it down and then let gratitude fill my soul as I look back and see the shifting and breakthrough. Good is coming, friends.