The Wholehearted Life: Embracing Uncertainty

When I heard United Pursuit Band was releasing a new album, I purchased it on iTunes right away. I’m a big fan of anything they produce and this album proved no different. The lyrics to one of the songs deeply resonated with me as I thought about my next post on wholehearted living, namely the second to last track: Looking For a Savior.

Will Reagan sings “I abandon my addiction to the certainty of life, and my need to know everything…” And as I listened to those words for the first time, something inside of me whispered I needed to let go, too.

I’ve recently found myself in the midst of transition, and the temptation in seasons such as this are to grab hold of anything that floats in an attempt to control something, anything, hoping it will keep us afloat. Yet oftentimes the purpose behind the transition itself is to pry our little fingers off the things we hold too dearly, one finger at a time.

But when the last finger releases, I’m surprised to find I’m still here, breathing, head above water, not drowning. I breathe a sigh of relief and then suddenly it dawns on me – there’s space to dream again, to think of what could be.

In order to live truly wholeheartedly, open to the possibilities of life, my hands must remain open, free of debris or clutter. It's both terrifying and exciting to expect, lean into and embrace uncertainty. It means holding things loosely so that when a road closes or a detour emerges, it doesn't throw the whole car off balance. 

I’m halfway through my 20’s and have started to believe that knowing exactly what’s next or where I’m going is overrated. So much of this time in life is for exploring, trying new things, being open to what’s ahead. Don’t get me wrong – I definitely applaud people who are on a clear track toward what they want, but I think we’d miss so much of life if we weren’t willing to live with hands wide open.

This past weekend I drove three hours to a friend’s lake house and arrived just before a thunderstorm rolled in. At first the rain started slowly, then the downpour began. I sat upstairs looking out the window and let all the emotions, thoughts, fears release from deep inside of me.

I must have sat there for several hours, and as the rain started to let up, I paused; breathed deep again and then began listing everything I was thankful for. The tears started to flow again and I realized had I not stopped to pause, pry my fingers off everything I was holding too dear and let go, I wouldn’t have noticed all the good around me.

Living with hands wide open provides freedom to look around, notice little things and, when paired with thankfulness, prepares the way for something new.

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