Two nights before I left for Peru I had a major freakout moment. My poor friends sat and listened to an unfolding of grief, frustration, anxiety, and doubt as tears spilled over and I began to ugly cry - and I mean ugly. Am I really going to move half way across the country? Do I have to start over? Why am I going to Peru, again? Shouldn't I be saving money? Am I going to lose all my friends? Who decides to pick up their life at the drop of a hat like it's no big deal? It is a big deal! Am I crazy?!
The questions began to surface and then everything spilled over, as if it was the first time I had allowed myself to actually feel all of the questions in the back of my head. To be honest, I almost backed out. But after listening to my emotional long winded rant, my two dear friends encouraged me and gave me space to be heard and to simply be.
I could have chosen to say no to this next step. And it would have been ok. But years ago I decided I wanted to be a yes woman - no matter the cost, no matter the risk, no matter how my actions were perceived by others. So I said yes. And here I am an hour or two outside Pasadena at a sweet little condo at Big Bear Lake getting ready to move all my belongings into my new home.
Transition has afforded sweet moments, too, to be sure. Two nights ago as my mom and I were driving into the Grand Canyon, we raced to the first viewpoint to arrive at the perfect moment to catch the last of the sunrise over the canyon. It served as a reminder that I'm catching the good moments, arriving at the perfect time.
Throughout this cross-country journey, I've spent little pockets of space in some of the most beautiful places. We spent the night at a Bed & Breakfast in St. Elmo, Colorado, hiked the Grand Canyon, and walked the trails at Big Bear Lake. Whenever I pause, taking in the beauty of the space around me, it does something in my spirit. It's as if I'm reminded of how big the world is and how small I am. And it's good to feel small.
More to come on my cross-country road trip (including my tips and recs for long drives!). Thank you for tagging along with my biggest adventure to date!